October, and Attitudes

Cold weather has taken over my attitude. It's better. Really. As in, I'm not weepy anymore.

Reality check. That's me.

Interesting. Hadn't been here in months. Forgot about the whole site. And now? I find I can use this to track exactly when things changed between Ann and I. The why is a little more mysterious.

At this point we're not together, at all. She's not my girlfriend. She's not her own either. She shut down, shut up, closed shop. She's trying to jump start herself and doesn't want a tow truck or a mechanic. I know how screwed up that is because I've been that stubborn with regard to real cars lately. She may be justified in not wanting an amateur mechanic like me, though.

I love her, but I'm not focusing on that now that I know she's almost as much out of her own picture as I am. I'm not optimistic. I'm just a little bit hopeful, but it doesn't shimmer much.

Not worrying. Her decision. She doesn't want me to need her? Fine, I won't. It's Fall. I'm a paragon of dark thoughts and moments that don't need to involve her any more than sex does.

Sigh.