Oh it's the usual second verklempt post

Geez. I'm all upbeat and shite at my regular site today after being completely depressed yesterday over the whole Iraq thing. I was journaling earlier today and realized it had been a full week since my last written entry. Been a long time since I was really open online too. Maybe a fresh new blog with a different name will help, I thought...

Open though. I don't know if I have open in me. Ann said she'd "turned it off", missing me so much, so she could cope with her busy days away from me. I felt that. I knew something was up with the Annster. I could feel her choosing to pull back. Well fuck, we haven't had a heart to heart talk for a long friggin' time so what am I to expect? I'm feeling like I'm scrambling for traction in our relationship, what with the fact that we haven't had an uninterrupted intimate moment for about six weeks. That's how it feels anyway. Every choice we've made seems to have led toward some kind of public song and dance, or the constant patter of little feet. Or both. And guess who has enabled those choices? And guess who now wants to complain?

I'm so busy being flexible though. And then I don't have the energy. And then I don't know what to say. And I perceive this distancing. Perceive it badly. But it's not a misperception. I'm on target. But the fix is not on target.

There is no fix.

Here is me, not fixing the situation because I don't have a handle on my life.

La la la.

Impressive, isn't it? Maybe I do need drugs.